What have I unbecome?
I am learning, to no longer explain
My every action, my every decision
I’ll do what’s right for me
You do what’s right for you
Both are okay.
What have I unbecome?
I no longer say “yes”
Just to please people
I no longer abandon myself –
My peace, my well-being,
Because you think I should do more
What have I unbecome?
I make time and space
For what I really want to do.
Instead of talking about
The things I wish I had time for,
The things I hope to do someday.
I do them now.
What have I unbecome?
For years I was afraid of judgement.
Wouldn’t write, couldn’t read my writing
To others without shaking.
Now, I write it, I put it out there.
And repeat. Again, and again.
It’s okay if you don’t get it, don’t like it –
Disagree.
That’s confidence.
That’s freedom.
What have I unbecome?
It was always safest, to be my own worst critic
Because if I could think of the ways I wasn’t
Good enough first, before anyone else,
I could contort myself – protect myself –
By diving into self-improvement.
Now, it’s different. It’s a journey into the depths,
Not a race to polish the surface.
(It’s about what others can’t see)
What have I unbecome?
Today, I don’t hate my body,
For the way it looks, or
For still not fitting into those old Silver jeans despite my best efforts.
And while I may not always love it,
I do appreciate it. And that is its
Own kind of unbecoming.
What have I unbecome?
With each passing year,
I unbecome flight and fear, and I settle a little more deeply
Into my true self.
With each passing year,
I unbecome feeling broken and unworthy, and I do the work
To get back to being whole.
I am confident in who I am, and what I am capable of.
And that makes me think,
If this is 28,
How amazing will 30, and 40, and 50 feel?
And beyond.
