Steak is chewy & dry –
I’ll order chicken at The Keg.
I don’t understand Beyonce’s massive appeal
& The Office just is not funny.
(Blasphemous, I know)
Dogs and cats make me super itchy & plug up my nose –
they’re only cute from a distance
The prospect of golfing 18 holes sounds like torture
& Nutella may look amazing, but is a massive disappointment
(Blasphemous, I know)
I actually fell asleep in the theatre watching The Hobbit–
it was that boring
& the ocean isn’t magical, it reeks like rotten fish
BBQ chips are disgusting
(Blasphemous, I know)
Don’t make your sonogram your profile photo –
I get that you’re excited, but you’re not a fetus
Running 13.1 miles is fun
The Hangover was an underwhelming film
(Blasphemous, I know)
Whiny posts saying “school doesn’t teach us basic life skills!” –
Really? Didn’t you take CALM?
Subway seafood subs are absolutely delicious
& lash extensions are lunacy
(Blasphemous, I know)
What’s with the hype of The Bachelor?
Too much sunshine gives me a headache
& I hate, hate, hate shopping at Walmart.
(Blasphemous, I know)
I usually just nod, smile, & agree (social niceties)
but “they” claim honesty is the best policy.
Even with unpopular opinions?
We’ll see. Now that you know what I really think.
